English as a foreign language

 

Dunno if the n00bs are just trying to be funny .

A semi-tragic tale with a happy ending

I completed a year as a wedded women recently, and to celebrate this triumph, I decided to bake a cake. I have baked a total number of once before. I made gingerbread. Which was okay.And which I ended up eating mostly by myself.

So I wanted to be careful this time. I decided to bake a simple chocolate cake.

At the beginning of this year, I was browsing Kroma and acquired myself an OTG(Oven-Toaster-Grill). It took me a day to discover that this despicable machine is neither a good oven, nor a decent toaster nor is it a respectable grill. It is a beautiful, curved, chrome and steel contraption which can do nothing well. But since I have brought it, I insist on using it.

So I did bake the cake. It was doing well for itself, rising beautifully till I decided to open the oven and have a better look. The cake could not take this behavior and it collapsed into itself. So now I had a depression in the middle of my cake, like a moon crater.

When I finally took it out, I discovered it had a dark burnt layer at the top as well as the bottom. the reason, I had used normal sugar instead of powdered, which sunk to the bottom of the cake and made a caramel base to my cake. The top layer? Well, I can't explain that.

Despite of this, my cake tasted alright actually. And we all ate it with ice-cream and milk. After all what can go wrong if there is chocolate in it?

In which I eat my words

This is a picture of me eating my words.

So I recently read a book. Its a little book of short stories called 'The Habit of Love' by an author called Namita Gokhale. And its terribly hard for me to admit; I liked it.

To get over this, I watched 'Almost Famous'. And no, I didn't like it.

Why I don't read indian authors

I confess, I am not a big fan of Indian writing in English.

I once tried to analyse why. I read to escape reality, not to face it. Indian fiction makes me strangely uncomfortable, for instance Arvind Adiga's 'White Tiger' made me queasy.

Similarly, I didn't finish 'God of Small Things', it seemed incestous and therefore, unpleasant. I started off by enjoying 'Field of Poppies' but was traumatised by a scene in which a man has sex with a horse.

I see poverty, hunger, violence, abuse around me on a regular basis. And in many cases, I am helpless and can't do anything about it. Do I need to be reminded about it in my books? No thanks.

Let me curl up with my book containing light hearted characters and happy endings. I don't need any more stress in my life.

On the other hand, books like 'Five Point Someone', 'Only for you Ma'am' etc. annoy the hell out of me and I don't want to put myself  through that either!

attempts at kannada speaking

I am in a cab. Here's my chance to practice Kannada! I spend ten minutes trying to come up with an appropriate sentence.

Me: "Bangalore tumba bisi ideyaa?"
Cab driver: "Yes, madam. Very hot. Thirty-eight degrees."

The conversation then proceeds in English.

Taking the bus in Bangalore

(image source: The Hindu)

Some cons:

1) all buses are full. if you think the next bus will be less full, you are wrong. they are ALL full.

2) traffic starts, and then stops. then it starts again but then (oh no) it stops.

3) it takes 2.5 hours to cover 10 kms. you do the math.

4) the conductor wants to push towards the front of the bus after every single stop.

5) If you don't have the exact money for the fare, you will rarely if ever get back change.


Some pros:

1) people hold conversations around you and you are free to eavesdrop. nobody cares.

2) there's a separate women's section and men's section in the bus. so no gropers/eve-teasers/pinchers will be entertained.

3) women who are sitting will offer to hold your heavy bags. which is super nice of them.

4) the weather is awesome, so you are not stinky and sweating by the end of your commute

Touristy stuff

I visited the National Gallery of Modern Art(on Palace Road, Bangalore), twice in the last two weeks. One time I went with my younger brother where we spent time staring at the paintings and not understanding them and generally being Philistines(and also regrettably making fun of some of the more vague ones).

the second time with my sis-in-law who is more artistic than us, I maintained a respectful silence and tried to look at "art" with fresh eyes. I also made some doodles during this time.



Click to enlarge, and read. Have you been to a National Gallery? How did you like it?

What I have heard about Bangalore

Some of this is true, some I am still finding out.